Trust.

"Those who hurt you the most are those who you love"

The people who I thought cared for me has turned their backs on me and the people who I care the most, my friends, who I treat as my family has also proved me wrong.

I can't believe that I've wandered away from my own prophecy.
"Trust no one."

Trusting people hasn't gotten me anywhere.
In fact, it's just caused me more pains in my life.

I will just close my eyes.
To hide from the pain of truth and lies.
I always want to disappear into the vast night sky.
Because I know, I won't make a difference even if I die.

I think I shall refrain from telling anyone about what's happening in my life.
I will just keep eveything to myself because it seems that I'm causing the people around me to get irritated with me.
I'll keep the pains and joys of my life to myself.

And I think I should change into an introvert.
I should just keep to myself because I've realised that my spontaneous ways have irritated people too.
Some people can't stand me.

I've never believed in the saying "A man is an island" because I thought that even to the most loneliest people there will always be someone for them.
But apparently I've interpreted it wrongly.

The loneliest people aren't those who have no one by their side.
In fact the loneliest people are those who has everyone beside them and yet it seems like they have nobody.
That's what I've been going through.

That's the way I've been living since the first time I've set foot in Singapore.
At least the friends in Indonesia won't talk behind your back.
If they don't like you at least they'll tell you your flaws straight to your face.

Even though it hurts but at least you can change and take in the critisisms.
If they talk behind your back you'll never know what's your flaws and when you find out about it from someone or when you fine PROOF about their "gossips".

If a man is an island.
I'm deserted.